The Single Beat of Her Fragile Heart
by fourknocks
Summary: <html><head></head>In which the Doctor says I Love You to a sleeping Rose Tyler</html>


_·•·_

He spent countless hours awake, his species not hindered by the longing to sleep such a large portion of their life. His waking hours were dull when those he spent in company had to go and rest. His naps were nothing compared to the eight hours or more his companions desired. Those hours when they were tucked in their beds were when the Doctor pondered, wandered or simply just stopped. With only himself to occupy time, the nights were long and lonely.

The endless twists and turns of the TARDIS corridors were all too familiar after centuries of wandering, most of the time alone. Even if she changed her routes, he could always find himself around in no time at all. It took the fun out of it, knowing where everything was. It made his nightly wanders short and dull compared to those with less of an affinity for the old girl.

On this particular night the Doctor was in a rut, all the books within the library had been read cover to cover countless times, the glistening pool didn't tickle his fancy and any sort of entertainment bored him at the thought. The Doctor was lonely, Rose Tyler was snug in her room on the TARDIS, she would dream in peace for several more hours, his companion was one of those humans who enjoyed sleep all too much and sometimes eight hours turned into ten or twelve. Those endless hours were filled with nothing, as if his life paused or slowed down whenever she closed her eyes.

The corridors twisted and turned before the Doctor until he came to stand in front of a golden door left slightly open, letting the hushed light from the corridors seep into the darkened room on the other side. The Doctor wanted to close it, to stop the cooled air from outside the room from creeping in but doing so would create a sound loud enough for his heavy sleeping companion to rouse. The other option was to leave it be but the Doctor couldn't have that so instead he went for option C; go inside. He knew it was ludicrous, walking into someone's room in the middle of the night and watch them sleep but he knew she wouldn't mind, she wouldn't even know.

Lightly, feet barely touching the ground, the Doctor crept into the darkened room, eyes quickly adjusting to the lack of light. In her bed, wrapped in her pink duvet was Rose Tyler; blonde hair resting on her face, lips pulled into a soft smile and eyes firmly shut as she slept so peacefully. The Doctor felt a smile make its way onto his face and he didn't stop it, she was beautiful, so delicate and so fragile. Feeling as if to stand would be too creepy, the Doctor took the sitting approach, lightly perching on the end of her bed, making sure not to stir her. It was there that he sat for a while, watching her gentle breaths rise and fall through the duvet, smiling when she did the same and silently chuckling when small snores escape her. With her so peaceful and in a sleep so deep, the Doctor knew it was safe to speak. In his long nights alone he only had himself as a chatting buddy so most nights were left in silence but tonight he could speak, technically to himself since Rose was so deep in her dreams but it wouldn't be directed at him, it would be to her.

"I must sound mad right now but I guess that's what I am - mad," the Doctor began with a whisper. He waited to see if Rose would stir the slightest but she didn't, signalling the all clear for the Doctor to continue. "I don't know if I could ever say half the things I am about to say when you're awake. To tell you the honest truth I am scared to my bones to tell you certain things because, well, it is scary I guess but seeing you here, so peaceful, makes me strong enough to tell you how I feel," the Doctor paused, kneading the pink Duvet with his fingers as he took his time, the Doctor didn't need to rush and he didn't plan on doing so. "You know Rose, out of all the companions I have had in my nine hundred years of life, none have been like you. I'm not just saying it because you are my current companion but it is true, you and I, I wish we could have forever but I think we both know that can happen, not even for your forever. Because, as I sit here I can hear the single beat of your fragile heart, thumping softly in a rhythm I have grown so used to hearing. That heart beat reminds me of the years to come that I will have without you and the limited years at your disposal. But let's not think about that aye, let's not get all gloomy, I don't want to ruin the good dream you seem to be having," the Doctor then stopped for several long moments, watching as her chest slowly rose and fell, an exquisite contrast to his two racing hearts inside his chest. "I'm saying this... I'm saying this because Rose Tyler..." he paused, his tongue froze in his mouth, words he longed to tell her for so long, words so apparent to the two of them, words he had almost spilled to her face twice, they danced on the tip of his tongue, so ready to be spoken but fear coursed through him. In his long life he had loved so many but none like her. She was the one that meant the most, the one that always will mean the most even if centuries pass between them and new loves blossom. She was, she is, and she forever will be the one that means the most. Taking a deep breath, the Doctor unstuck her tongue and pushed out the words with a timid whisper, the weight lifted from his chest the slightest although not completely, "Rose Tyler, I love you."

With the words out in the open the Doctor just watched Rose rest; not needing nor not wanting to say any other word. He let several minutes of comforting silence pass before standing up gently to leave her for the remaining hours of her rest. The silence in the room was hushed enough that when closing his eyes, he could hear her calming single beat of her fragile heart work in synchronous harmony with her gentle breaths. Before he left, the Doctor bent down to his companion, placing a tender kiss on her forehead before leaving her room, making sure not a hair was out of place. He left her golden door open the slightest, just as he found it, just to make sure his midnight visit could not be noticed.

Unbeknownst to the Doctor, when he left her room to wander the corridors, a small smile appeared on her sleeping face. She had been pulled from her dreams the moment he entered to room and instead of waking she let him believe she was still asleep. The Doctor had talked to her as if she would never hear when in fact she heard, she heard everything so very clear.


End file.
